Is Lament Good? The Pros and Cons of This Prayer Type
I began to wonder the other day if lament was a good thing. Any time, I’ve tried to lament I felt it led me to question God’s goodness and faithfulness more than if I hadn’t prayed. Perhaps, you’ve felt the same. So, I began to wonder since lament is in the Bible what are the benefits of it.
While the dictionary definition of lament provides a negative connotation, the practice of lament is quite good. Proper lament leads us into a deeper relationship with God filled with praise and thanksgiving. That said, if practiced incorrectly, lament can lead to complaining and doubt.
There is a lot we can learn about the power of proper lamenting and how necessary it is for our Christian walk with God. So, let’s wonder together.
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
| -Helps us praise God -Helps us thank God -Deepens our faith | If done incorrectly, lament can lead to -Doubt -Complaining -Distance from God |
What is lament?
The dictionary defines lament as “to feel, show, or express grief, sorrow, or regret.” 1 As such it has a negative connotation. It is a word typically used around times of trouble or grief. When things are not right and we know it, we can lament. While the word itself can be negative, the act of lament can be quite positive.
Lament is a type of prayer that takes our grief and sorrow to God. This leads us to seek comfort, solace, and help in difficult times. Lament has four key elements,
- Expression of Suffering
- Questioning and Pleading
- Confession of Vulnerability and Trust
- Praise and Hope for Deliverance
This biblical way to bring our sorrows to God is something that we need to bring back to Christian practice. It’s something we need to work on as it is a healthy way to cast our burdens on the Lord (Psalm 55:22).
The Pros of Lament
Lament has several spiritual benefits that result in us growing deeper in our Christian faith and relationship with God.
Lament Helps us Praise God
The first pro of lament is that it leads us to praise. Lament helps us praise God. At first, it might seem strange to say such a thing but, this is a key truth. Many Psalms of lament end with a call or reminder to praise God in spite of the current suffering.
Personally, I have found this to be true in my own life. One time I was in a dark place and the only thing I could do was pray, “Why God? Why me? Why allow this?” That was my constant prayer through tears.
But in that moment I had nowhere else to turn, no one else to turn to for help but God. Amazingly, by the end of that prayer time, I was listening to worship songs. This reminds me of the verse Jeremiah 31:13, “For I will turn their mourning into joy…”
Certainly that joy came through time and was not immediate. I mean I wasn’t happy for what I was going through, but I was satisfied with God’s presence in that moment.
We can see this principle at work in Psalms 42-43. These psalms are written by the Sons of Korah who were the ancient choir in the Tabernacle at the time of King David. They have an interesting backstory that is worthy of a movie, which you can read more of here. Samuel the prophet was a son of Korah.
Anyway, Psalms 42-43 were written by this musical group and show us beautifully how lament helps us praise God. In Psalm 42, the sons of Korah are lamenting because they can’t worship God in the Tabernacle at the moment. They lament, “Why are you cast down, O my soul?” (Psalm 42:8).
From this lament we see them recall to memory past times they were able to worship in the Tabernacle and hope in God that they will get to again. So, we see that when we are hurting we need to remember the past and hope in God.
Psalm 43, which is the conclusion to the poem began in Psalm 42, continues the theme of hoping in God. Three times in this poem we read, “Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and God.”
Lament helps us stand on the Christ the solid rock when all other ground is sinking sand. It gives us the means to praise God and cling to His faithfulness even in troubled times.
Lament Helps us Thank God
Secondly, lament helps us thank God. The Bible calls us to give thanks in everything (1 Thessalonians 5:18). But this is a lot easier said than done. When we bring our troubles to God, we are reminded of how He has been faithful before.
When I was going through that dark time, after listening to those praise and worship songs, I began to reflect on God’s past faithfulness in my life. This is the “remember” part of the Sons of Korah’s psalm.
Interestingly, in Psalm 44 they show us exactly how to give thanks to God in every circumstance. How? through lament. Psalm 44 is another lament and it follows this general structure:
- Remember God’s past acts (v. 1-3)
- Acknowledge it’s through God we are saved (v. 4-8)
- Tell God your current circumstances (v. 9-16)
- Self-reflect (v. 17-22)
- Call on God for help (v. 23-26)
This is the general structure of laments found in the Bible, but it also leads us to reflect on God’s past deliverance. Psalm 44:1 reads, “We have heard it with our ears, O God; our ancestors have told us what You did in their days, in days long ago.”
Remembering God’s past deliverance offers hope for His future deliverance. That’s how lament helps us give thanks in every situation.
Lament Helps us Grow in Faith
Lastly, lament helps us grow in faith. Lament challenges us to trust God even when we don’t know what He is doing or why. Even if it doesn’t make sense. It forces us to lean on His character rather than our circumstances.
Let me tell you from experience, nothing will do more for your relationship with God than leaning on Him in the midst of troubled circumstances. That’s exactly what lament helps you do.
As I’ve mentioned, I had no where else to turn but to God. He became my best friend. While I was saved before this moment, it is this moment I often look back on and say that is when my faith became my own. It was my relationship with God. He became more real. More relevant in my life in that moment.
Habakkuk the prophet was in a similar situation once. God was using these very wicked people, the Babylonians, to punish His own people. Habakkuk could not understand why. On top of that the land was not able to support the people.
So, Habakkuk has this whole discussion with God about why He’s doing what He is and how Habakkuk thinks its not right. God, obviously, straightens him out, and Habakkuk ultimately declares,
Though the fig tree does not bud…yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.” Habakkuk 3:17-18
Once again, we see elements of praise through lament. Choosing to trust God in lament helps us grow spiritually as we recognize that we can trust in God in all situations.
The Cons of Lament
As you can see lament has a lot of benefits for our spiritual growth and relationship with God. That said, if done incorrectly lament can end up having a negative impact on our spiritual life.
If Done Incorrectly, Lament can Become Complaining
Lament and complaining are two very different things. Complaining focuses only on the negative. But lament does two things. (1) it acknowledges the negative, and (2) it asks God for help.
The Israelites wandering around in the wilderness for 40 years is a prime example of complaining vs. lamenting. In Exodus 16:2-3 the people grumbled against God and Moses saying,
If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but You have brought us out into this desert to starve to death.
There’s not asking for God’s help here. There’s no praise. No thankfulness. Instead, there is a complete lack of trust in God and His provision.
Proper lamenting to God is cathartic, but complaining is not. One time, I just complained to God about everything that was wrong with my life in that moment. After that prayer, did I feel better? No. Not really. I just felt more defeated and more tired. That’s because I never cast my cares on God. Instead, I just complained.
If Done Incorrectly, Lament can Lead to Doubt
Secondly, if lament is done incorrectly it can lead to doubt. Proper lament leads us to remember God’s past faithfulness and character and hope for His faithfulness and character in the future. This is the remember and hope principle we learned from the Sons of Korah.
However, if done incorrectly lament can lead to doubt. We often lament when we don’t feel God’s presence in our lives or don’t see Him at work in it. This can lead us to question God’s character and nature.
It’s like Job’s friends in the Old Testament. They surrounded Job when he was lamenting what he was going through. But their opinions and speculations only led to more confusion and doubt for Job. What they should have done instead was to remain silent, trust God, and point to His enduring faithfulness.
Honestly, unanswered prayer can contribute greatly to this. I’ve been praying for something for years with little sign of an answer from God. It’s hard and it hurts. It often leads to lament. Truthfully, there have been times I’ve wondered if God just doesn’t care anymore.
But then I remember and hope. He does care. He’s faithful. Always faithful. And I’ve learned how to respond to unanswered prayers biblically. If you are in a similar spot, check out this post that will show the nine ways you can respond when your prayers go unanswered too.
If Done Incorrectly, Lament can Distance us From God
Lastly, if done incorrectly, lament can distance us from God. Proper lament is a sign of faith not faithlessness. Why? Because it goes to God with our problems. But if we don’t have the faith that God can help, then we are creating distance between us and God and not growing closer to Him.
Jesus encourages us to, “Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28). God wants us to give our burdens and laments to Him. We can trust Him with them, because He cares for the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).
King David and King Saul illustrate this point well. Both Kings had great failures, but they each handled them differently. David lamented in prayer and repentance (Psalm 51), but Saul grew bitter and sorrowful. One man gave his burdens to God and the other did not.
If we choose to lament without seeking God’s presence, without truly giving our burdens to God, then we will become like Saul and be driven further into despair and self-destruction.
Key Takeaways
Here are a few key takeaways that have stuck with me as I’ve prepared and written this post.
- Lament is a good thing when done correctly. However, it can be dangerous when done incorrectly.
- Lament both includes and leads to prayers of praise and thanksgiving.
- A great way to lament is remember and hope for God’s faithfulness in every circumstance.
- Lamenting is the biblical way we cast our cares on God.
I want to encourage you wonder more about lament on your own. Embrace this practice of praying prayers of lament, and do so with humility and heart that seeks God in every situation.
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